WootBot


quality posts: 14 Private Messages WootBot

Staff

It's Music Monday! What's the best way to prove you're someone's friend? Why, by giving them horrible music, of course! Nothing shows your respect like the words "Wow, you've GOT to hear this crap!" Today Scott's showing his love for you by slapping down five of the WORST songs he knows. After you listen, feel free to repay him in kind.

Dr. Dave - Vanna, Pick Me A Letter

 

In one quick motion, David Kolin crossed the voice of Cheech Marin with the smooth skill of Alex Chilton and- well, churned out this mid-80s novelty hit about Wheel Of Fortune. At least he didn't go back to do "Jeopardy Gurls," right?

The terror only continues within. See you after the jump!

Barry Tiffin - Candy Bars For Elvis

 

The idea that a dead celebrity increases sales is not new. Record a quick tribute to your dead pal, and you can make a few bucks with which you can better mourn. This story about a guy in the right place at the right time could easily be a thirty second Milky Way commercial. Instead, it's a four minute crap fest that just drags on and on and on. Well done, Barry! File it with all your other hits. Oh, really? Just the one? That's surprising!

Ray Stevens - The Streak

 

Like a wholesome redneck version of Frank Zappa, Ray Stevens turned "being that weird uncle" into a business venture. His gentle lyrics capture what the world was like back in the day, when people could sprint naked through the streets with no risk of being labeled a sex predator. Ah, a golden era.

Larry Verne - Mister Custer

 

Larry Verne got a record deal! Good for him. May we all be so lucky. And may we possibly not end up recording a song about an event where some cocky, racist general led his troops into a slaughter.

Michael Damian - Rock On

 

I'm not really a big fan of the original, either, but at least that one is a little dissonant and off the beat. THIS version, however… just ugh. UGH. So bad it doesn't even get airplay on "'80s Lunchtime" radio shows. And they play anything.

Okay, bring your worst. Your goal is to make Scott cry. But before you get started, let us remind you: some images come from the corresponding Wikipedia page and are here under fair use. See you next week.

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall

I hereby officially propose that the Wombles in no way constitute a novelty... they are more a British institution.


on the other hand, these just never should have been






sellbuyer92


quality posts: 35 Private Messages sellbuyer92



Nemesis: Stryper2000 He stole my Big Ole Carrot

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

sellbuyer92 - The Groovy Goolies? Ah, what a GREAT blast from the past!

Here's an earworm

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall







Slydon


quality posts: 17 Private Messages Slydon

Staff

dougall wrote:



i think you're in first place currently

Hi, I'm one of the writers. My powers are limited but I'll do what I can.

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall
Slydon wrote:i think you're in first place currently



Rule Britannia!

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen

So, I'm confused; is this music we love or hate? Because I like a lot of awful music, so I'm not sure what to post.

Anyway.

Mamie van Doren!
The Beat Generation

The Girl Who Invented Rock and Roll

Eddie Cochran wrote Rolling Stone for her. They did not have an affair because she was married to bandleader Ray Anthony at the time. This is an actual good song, as these things go.

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen
dougall wrote:I hereby officially propose that the Wombles in no way constitute a novelty... they are more a British institution.


How could a band with FOUR top ten hits be a novelty?!

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall
mossygreen wrote:How could a band with FOUR top ten hits be a novelty?!



Beats me!


especially when there's crap like this being churned out.

dtungsten


quality posts: 0 Private Messages dtungsten

Heh, maybe I like these songs.

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

Two more for your consideration:



miken927


quality posts: 122 Private Messages miken927

This is the first novelty song I remember...


------------------
I Bet on Sky

hot72chev


quality posts: 11 Private Messages hot72chev

miken927 - I had totally forgotten about "Mr. Jaws"!

This one goes out to all my friends in Colorado and Washington:

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall

when you really love me you should bring me edelweiss...

tjamil


quality posts: 26 Private Messages tjamil

How about "Convoy" by CW McCall

CatCK


quality posts: 50 Private Messages CatCK

A classic. "Fish Heads" by Barnes and Barnes



strawhousepig


quality posts: 60 Private Messages strawhousepig

NOFX doing a cover of Minor Threat's classic hardcore punk rock anthem Straight Edge...
While impersonating Louis Armstrong.
[NSFW]

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen

Music Monday should of course be a conflict-free zone, but I'm happy to see so many Betta Koi among the regulars.

tamdawn


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tamdawn

Dr. D is the best!



mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen

This may be too specific in time and place, but I certainly got sick of Steve Dahl playing this in the mid-80's.


Just because I heard this on the local college radio station a couple of weeks ago, where the theme was "songs with long titles":
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?

christigibson


quality posts: 0 Private Messages christigibson

Don't even know if this song can be downloaded, but it is entitled "Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Back Seat Kissing on Fred". Was a hit in the 50's and my mom use to play it on a record player when I was growing up. Definitely will give you a laugh!

kcostell


quality posts: 6 Private Messages kcostell

Feels almost like it's cheating to pull out a song originally from Eurovision...

Dschinghis Khan's "Genghis Khan"

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen
kcostell wrote:Feels almost like it's cheating to pull out a song originally from Eurovision...


Well, Eurovision does pretty much equal bizarre, borderline unlistenable novelty songs. But there are so many, so unknown, that you do a valuable service posting them. So cheating, yes; problematic cheating, no.

strawhousepig


quality posts: 60 Private Messages strawhousepig

Sounds like permission to me!

Verka Serduchka - Dancing Lasha Tumbai (Ukraine) 2007



Not Eurovision and not a novelty song, but a novelty performance of maestro proportions and an internet classic:

this drummer is at the wrong gig

cjhughes


quality posts: 24 Private Messages cjhughes

Mason Williams - Them Toad Suckers

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle,
I no longer despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
Woot:40(Babies on Cribs:7) Kids:0 Wine:1 Shirt:7 Sellout:4 Home:1 Moofi: 2

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall

novelty covers edition.






dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall

and the elderly relatives edition



tyrant419


quality posts: 0 Private Messages tyrant419

Wow

mattvnh


quality posts: 0 Private Messages mattvnh

From the early 80's Blotto was the ultimate novelty song band. The following was even on the first day of broadcast for MTV:



There were others such as My Baby's the Star of a Driver's Ed Movie, Goodbye Mr. Bond



and Metal Head, with special appearance by Buck Dharma



bigolddaddy


quality posts: 0 Private Messages bigolddaddy

Aww yeah, Joe Dolce.



mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen

Jordy, Dur Dur D'etre Bebe

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall
bigolddaddy wrote:Aww yeah, Joe Dolce.


:D

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall

draigun


quality posts: 21 Private Messages draigun

I know it's no longer Monday, but this still needed to be shared:

dougall


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dougall
christigibson wrote:Don't even know if this song can be downloaded, but it is entitled "Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Back Seat Kissing on Fred". Was a hit in the 50's and my mom use to play it on a record player when I was growing up. Definitely will give you a laugh!


...

I remember it from my childhood too, no idea why.
but,



trekkie4christ


quality posts: 2 Private Messages trekkie4christ

Make sure you're not getting addicted to these, or drugs for that matter.



Don't be a fool; drugs ain't cool.

bluebeatpete


quality posts: 5 Private Messages bluebeatpete

From the greatest bad album of all time!

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen
bluebeatpete wrote:From the greatest bad album of all time!


HARDLY a novelty, sir! More like a classic for the ages.

mossygreen


quality posts: 69 Private Messages mossygreen

Pac Man Fever

[MOD EDIT: Removed; broken YouTube link]

Maybe this sing-along version will work: