The 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump is made to inflate with oxygen. But let’s explore other options, shall we?

In keeping with our company interest in science, we decided to test the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump against different gases. Only through science can we fully learn!

EXPERIMENT ONE: HELIUM

When first filled with Helium Gas, the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump hovered slightly, thanks to the thicker material that holds in the air and/or gas. However, since the bed is not designed for tethering, it quickly took flight. The unfortunate lack of a flight plan meant the Air Force arrived on the scene, but we can now be certain that the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump is not designed to withstand a direct hit from a Sidewinder missile, though it can support up to 600 lbs. Notes were recovered, but the experimenter was tragically lost.

CONCLUSION: HELIUM GAS NOT SUPPORTED

EXPERIMENT TWO: IRON

As most people forget, even the hardest of metals can become a gas under the correct temperature and pressure. We attempted to fill the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump with Iron Gas, which required us to heat the room to 3000 degrees Celsius. Tragically, this intense heat melted the bed, the pump, the experimenter, his clipboard, and all of the notes on the test. Also, the test room caught fire and the heater exploded.

CONCLUSION: INCONCLUSIVE DUE TO LOST NOTES, IRON GAS LIKELY NOT SUPPORTED

EXPERIMENT THREE: AIR

We filled the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump with regular Nitrogen/Oxygen mix (a.k.a “air”) and recorded the results. The 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump was most comfortable when “air” was used, and collapsed quickly into the included storage bag. Additionally, no experimenter was lost, although one did fall off the bed and bruised his elbow in the process. He was given a smiley-face bandage as a placebo.

CONCLUSION: 14” FULL AIR BED W/BUILT-IN REMOTE CONTROL PUMP WORKS BEST WITH REGULAR AIR

These three experiments make it clear the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump has a small range of universal compatibility, but does work very well in the range acceptable to humans. Join us next time when we test other states of matter! Will the 14” Full Air Bed w/Built-in Remote Control Pump be comfortable when filled with carbon and hydrochloric acid? We’ll find out in the name of science!

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