I know, sixty years is magical, but let’s be honest. The best gift right now is a good sit-down.

That’s why I got you this Waring 60th Anniversary Blender. I figured we’d order a really fancy meal and then grind it up so that we can drink it, since our teeth aren’t what they used to be. Hey, do you remember the night we first met? I think we danced for eleven hours straight! And then we had that burger-eating contest at four in the morning. Boy, those were the days. Now, that’d probably kill us. But I still love you just like I always did, darling. Happy anniversary. Please accept this Waring 60th Anniversary Blender.

Ooo! No, no, it’s not you, just turned the wrong way is all. Yeah, that was my back. Ooof, no, no, it’s nothing, just let me get the heating pad and lie down on the floor. Man, that never happened when we were kids, did it? Tell you what, let’s split half a glass of champagne and call it a night.

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