Leon: Hoo-wee! Hell of a day! Much as I love wrestling, riding motorcycles, and starring in carnival sideshows, it does take a lot out of a man.

Loyd: That’s right, little brother. Good thing we got a lot of “man” to take! Being the world’s heaviest twins ain’t a job for no small-fry.

Leon: And being out on the road so much makes it hard to get the rest we need to haul our own weight around.

Loyd: That’s why we travel with the Aerobed Sport Bed in a Minute II. Just hook it up to the handheld pump, plug the pump into any AC outlet, and you’ve got a comfortable bed in less time than it takes me to eat a whole roast duck.

Leon: That’s right, big brother. This mattress is 9” thick with supportive coil construction. Who needs a hotel room? Just park the Aerobed Sport II under a tent, carport, tarp, or highway overpass. Viola – instant bedroom!

Loyd: It’s a good thing we chose a pair of the Queen-size ones. They support up to 750 pounds apiece. The Fulls only go up to 650, which would be fine if I was still in high school.

Leon: Loyd, you have been keeping an eye on your weight, haven’t you? You’re sure you’re still under 750?

Loyd: Yup. I even said “no” to an eleventh Moon Pie today.

Leon: Wow, and I thought you didn’t have the willpower. Well, good night, big brother. Sleep well on your Aerobed Sport Bed in a Minute II.

Loyd: You, too, little brother. Tomorrow we got- BLLLLLLSSHHHH! Aw, dammit! My bed popped!

Leon: Loyd, Loyd, Loyd. How many Moon Pies did you really have today?

Loyd: Twenty-three.

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