I used to have a laptop. Then I decided to quit the world and raise fish. I find it much more soothing.
For example, see that purple and yellow guy? That's the biggest troll in the ocean. He comes in here and chases all the little fish around into a frenzy, and then hides in the coral and watches them fight. Once you know his tactics, it's not hard to see him in action. Oh, but of course, I don't miss the Internet at all.
Or over there, that anemone. Yeah, it releases these bubbles- I call them zero day releases -and the fish just line up to get them, as fast as they can before another anemone shuts them all down. It's just the sort of thing I once would find online, thanks to my Asus 15.6" Dual-Core i5 Laptop! But, really, the world is much more simple now. I just watch my fish tank. Don't even miss technology.
Say, did you know that I've almost filled my hard drive? No, no, not the 500GB in the Asus 15.6" Dual-Core i5 Laptop, "hard drive" is the nickname I've given to the little treasure chest I put at the bottom of the tank. See those fake doubloons? Ha ha! Stuffed full of them now! That's what I put my money into right after selling off my Bitcoins. Sure do wonder how that market's doing right now. But, hey. Past is past. And I don't regret giving up my Internet for a fish tank.
Oh, check this guy out. Yeah, he's the cleaner. Comes right in, cleans up all the loose algae just like I used to have to clean up my desktop on the 64-bit Windows Home 7 Premium Operating System. I remember when I'd burn DVDs on the SuperMulti DVD±RW drive. Boy, I used to love doing that. But, no! No! Fish tank! The source of all peacefulness and calm!
Yep, sure am glad I gave up the Internet for a fish tank. Let me just see how long it's been... huh. Six minutes already. Bet I've got some emails asking me where I've gone. It would be rude not to at least reply, right? I should get out the ol' Asus 15.6" Dual-Core i5 Laptop and check in with... NO! NO! FISH TANK! FISH TANK! I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO THE SINGULARITY! NO!
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