Bag of Crap LXXIV: Process of Elimination
Listen, we can't tell you what's going to be in your Bag o' Crap. But we can tell you what will definitely NOT be in there. By process of elimination there should only be about 12,000,154,768 possible items left.
Anyway, you're for sure NOT going to get:
- A Microsoft Surface tablet. It's a Bag o' Crap, not a Bag o' Ssssshhh-the other word. Are we being a bit harsh on the not-yet-released Surface lately? Absolutely. Are we going to stop? No.
- All the Evils of the world. We get a lot of calls from Wooters with Pandora Complexes, worried that if they open their Bags o' Crap, they will unleash a torrent of pure Evil into the world that cannot be returned from whence it came. Don't worry: See the bullet point above.
- A puppy. We would send out some of these adorable little puppies that are crawling all over the office, but then how would we make our famous Baked Ziti with Meat Sauce?
- The state of Iowa. Turns out their state constitution has a pretty ironbound not-to-be-given-away-by-a-deal-a-day-site clause.
- The Plague. We learned our lesson after the infamous Bag o' Crap we shipped to Genoa in 1347. Boy was our face red (and covered in lesions).
Features
THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v4.0
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and THREE crappy items.
II. Thou shalt probably expect not to even get a Bag o’ Crap at all. We only have enough for about 10% of the people who want them. Thou art probably in that other 90%.
III. Thou shalt notice that “crap” is right there in the title. Thou shalt not complain when it turns out we were telling the truth.
IV. Thou wouldst probably be better off spending thine eight bucks on just about anything else.
V. Thou shalt be assured that Woot hath upgraded its servers and code to minimize errors and crashes. But thou shalt remind thyself that even if those servers did work perfectly, it would simply mean the BoC sold out earlier.
VI. Should thou fail in thy quest for crap, congratulations. Failure is the biggest crap of all.
Sales Stats
- Speed to First Woot:
- 0m 6.668s
- First Sucker:
- vtnyc3
- Last Wooter to Woot:
- spookc4
Purchaser Experience
Purchaser Seniority
Quantity Breakdown
Percentage of Sales Per Hour
| 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
|---|
Woots by State
zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting
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