Sixty batteries? Yeah, take THAT, you stupid fire alarm.

Ohhhh, I’m onto you, Mr. Fire Alarm in my hallway. You act like you’re only keeping me safe from fires, but then, the very

SECOND I’ve got a big meeting or a test or a plane I’ve got to catch, it’s all

BEEP BEEP BEEP RUNNING OUT OF POWER BEEP BEEP HA HA HA HA BEEP

. You’ve done it before, and we both know that you’re gonna be doing it again. That’s just how you fire alarms work.

So how did I fight back? Take a look in this drawer, pal.

That’s right. You’re lookin’ at sixty, count ‘em, sixty Fuji Extra Long Life Heavy-Duty Batteries. And when they said “AA or AAA?” you better BELIEVE I knew which one I was picking. Can you guess, Mr. Fire Alarm? Can you guess which ones I chose? Well, let’s put it this way… which size Fuji Extra Long Life Heavy-Duty Batteries would you take?

Well, isn’t that a coincidence? Because I just happened to… wait, what did you just say? Are you kidding me? You jerkface little fire alarm, you’re trying to convince me that I ordered the wrong size batteries! Don’t you even try to… okay, I’m gonna go get a step-ladder so I can get an answer to this question once and for all. And so help me, if I ordered the wrong batteries, I’m gonna place an order for a sledgehammer. And then we’ll see who’ll be waking up whom at three in the morning!

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