Well, sure, this is a great garage door opener, but… well, I expected a different kind of Genie from an Air Force officer connected to Dallas.

No, no, I don’t want to appear ungrateful at all! This Genie QuietLift 800 Belt Drive Garage Door Opener is really going to be nice! I won’t have to keep getting out of my car on cold mornings or sweltering in the heat, and that’s going to be fantastic. Just a few taps on the remote and I’m set, right? It’s good stuff, really. It’s just…

Okay, I know it’s silly. But you just got back from that deserted island, right? Yeah, I know, Top Secret and everything, but c’mon. C’monnnnn. I can put two and two together. And then you left the service to run that oil company? And told me you wanted to give me a Genie that you weren’t using? What was I suppose to think? That you could find a different garage door opener on every street corner in the world?

Yeah, okay, fine, too much Nick At Night back in college, ha ha ha. But you see where I’m coming from, right? I’m happy to know that I’ll be able to drive into a brightly lit garage when I come home at night, and then close the door behind me before I even get out of the car, but I kinda had my heart set on… I don’t know, getting accidentally teleported to France because I made a joke that was misunderstood. Doesn’t that make sense to you, even a little bit?

Okay, okay, maybe you’re right. I’m sorry, it’s a great gift, thank you. And now I’ve got one for you! Guess what! Your brother’s alive! I walked in on him in the shower! Oh, you knew he was alive? And he asked you to get a better lock for the bathroom? Gosh, I thought… well, I suppose I figured that the whole last year didn’t happen because… well, it’s not worth rehashing here, is it? Not when I’ve got a Genie QuietLift 800 Belt Drive Garage Door Opener to install!

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