He was a king and a god in the world he knew, but now he comes to civilization merely a captive – a show to gratify your curiosity!

It wasn’t easy – just ask all the crewmen lost on Stuffed Monster Island – but Woot brought him back alive! Behold the biggest, screamingest monkey ever seen in these latitudes by civilized men! You see before you a titan, a colossus, reduced to a plaything and forced to wear a demeaning red aviator’s cap and a cape smeared with a silver Woot logo!

A full 28 inches long, with the rubber slingshot arms of his lesser cousins, but with an ape-sized scream guaranteed to empty any room, annoy any co-workers, and awe any Stone Age tribe into meek, worshipful submission – truly the Eighth Wonder of the World! Or at least one of the top, let’s say, Fifteen Wonders of the World! And we bring him to you in gratitude for enduring the marathon test of endurance and credit balance that terrified natives throughout the South Seas call “the Woot-Off”!

Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes. It was hitting F5 killed the beast!

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