Look, we’re not trained poets. We’re just some guys trying to sell golf balls.

These golf balls, they’re all unique. They each have some extremely minor imperfection that gives them individuality. So, they’re like snow flakes; each one is different. Except these golf balls are bigger and harder than snow flakes. And can do more damage to cars.

Why don’t we compare these golf-balls to something else. Like hail stones. They’re like big hail stones. Except you’re not going to collect golf balls in science class and cut them open to look at their layers.

Maybe they’re more like eggs, except more spherical and less fry-able. Or maybe they’re more like meteors, except tiny and not-at-all responsible for the extinction of any prehistoric creatures.

Or, like, how about this? These golf are like those wiffle golf balls, but minus the wiffle part. Or they’re like brand new golf balls, except they’re not brand new.

You know what? Why do we even need to explain this to you? It’s just a bunch of golf balls. Take em or leave em.

Back to top