Left for dead

I know the one-armed shirt I made you is uncomfortable now, but don’t worry, you’ll grow into it.

Why do you have to wear it? Well, you see, Tommy, your mother and I saw you doing some things, some strange things. Things like writing… with your left hand. Or pointing… with your left hand. Or scratching your cheeks… with your left hand. We started to notice a pattern, Tommy. A definite, terrifying pattern.

Do you know what they did to left-handed people in ancient Egypt, Tommy? Nothing. Because there were no lefties in Ancient Egypt. Because the very idea of a left-handed person could only come about in a disgusting, morally-bankrupt culture like the one in which we currently live.

But don’t feel bad, Tommy. It’s not your fault. You’re just a boy. You don’t know any better. But still, as your parents, we feel it is our duty to put an end to this embarrassing behavior of yours. So your mother – you know how crafty she is – she went right away and got on her Singer Stylist Serger, and she made you a whole new wardrobe of right-armed-only shirts.

It didn’t take long either. At 1,300 stitches per minute, the Stylist delivers professional speed, not to mention the color coded threading system and Stainless Steel Bed Plate for easy sliding saved additional time. And we didn’t just make you tee-shirts. Nope! Your mother just hopped on her Scholastic Sewing Machine – which has a strong enough motor to sew through heavy-weight fabrics and an Automatic 1-Step Buttonhole – and whipped you up a nice, warm, button-up winter coat!

At first, it might feel weird to have your whole left arm trapped under a shirt all day, Tommy, but the best way to break your unfortunate left-handed tendencies is to quit them cold-turkey. And the best way to quit them cold-turkey is to pretend you don’t have any appendages at all sprouting off the left side of your body. Heck, maybe if you’re lucky, you’re whole left arm will fall off! Fingers crossed!

I know you’re angry now, but trust me, Tommy – you’ll thank me, your mom, and her two Singers for this later on in life.

Features

Warranty: Singer 25 Year on Machine Head / Singer 5 Year on Motor, Light Assembly, Wiring, Switches, Speed Control and Electric Components / Singer 1 Year on Adjustments, Belts, Rings, Bulbs and Attachments

Condition: New

Scholastic Sewing Machine Features:

23 Built-In Stitches: 6 Basic Stitches, 4 Stretch Stitches, 12 Decorative Stitches, 1 Buttonhole—perfect for crafts, home decorating, clothing construction and much more
1,100 Stitches per Minute: Sews faster than a standard sewing machine
Fully Automatic 1-Step Buttonhole: Professional buttonholes at the touch of a button
Automatic Needle Threader – sewing’s biggest timesaver!
Top Drop-in Bobbin for easy threading: Convenient drop-in bobbin is easy to insert, remove and monitor thread supply
Class 15 Bobbins
60% Stronger Motor: A stronger motor than standard sewing machines allows it to sew through heavyweight fabrics with ease
Stainless Steel Bed Plate: Fabric slides easily across the machine arm
Adjustable Presser Foot Pressure: Sew lightweight to heavy fabric with ease by adjusting the presser foot pressure
Adjustable Stitch Length & Width: Adjust the desired stitch length by a simple turn of the dial
Drop Feed for free motion sewing
Heavy Duty Metal Frame for skip-free sewing: Rigid support holds all the mechanisms in perfect alignment for skip-free sewing
Free Accessories Included
Instruction Manual
Product Sheet

Stylist Serger Features:

1,300 Stitches per Minute provides professional speed for faster results
2-3-4 Thread Capability provides more stitch variety: The 6 different stitch types ensure the perfect stitch, regardless of the project (Blind Hems, Rolled Hems, Flatlocking, finishing raw edges and joining seams)
6 Serger Stitches including 3-thread flatlock and 4-thread stretch mock safety stitch
4 Built-In Rolled Hems for more options, especially for lightweight fabrics: Switching to the rolled hem sewing mode is effortless. An easy access lever moves the stitch finger in position for rolled hemming
Differential Feed eliminates stretching and puckering
Color Coded Threading System makes threading easy and saves time: With complete, easy-to-read diagrams, this feature makes threading your SINGER® Stylist™ a snap; just follow the color-coded diagram on the machine for effortless threading
Adjustable Stitch Length & Width keeps seams strong and prevents bunching
Free Arm to easily sew sleeves and cuffs
Machine Intro DVD Included
Instruction Manual with Stitch Guide
Instruction Manual
Product Sheet

In the box:

(1) Singer 5523 Scholastic Sewing Machine includes:

All-Purpose Foot
Zipper Foot
Buttonhole Foot
Button Sewing Foot
Seam Ripper / Lint Brush
Quilting Guide
Needles
Thread Spool Caps
Bobbins
Screwdriver
Spool Pin
Spool Felt
Soft Dust Cover
Foot Pedal
Power Cord
Instruction Manual

(1) Singer 14SH764 Stylist Serger includes:

All Purpose Foot
Tweezers
Needle
Spreader
Screwdriver
Instruction Manual
Machine Intro DVD
Foot Control
Power Cord

Specs

Singer 5523 Scholastic Sewing Machine
Singer 14SH764 Stylist Serger

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:: 2m 10.000s

Purchaser Experience

22% first woot
9% second woot
32% < 10 woots
17% < 25 woots
20% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

16% joined today
1% one week old
2% one month old
16% one year old
64% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

99% bought 1
1% bought 2
0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11	12	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	11
5%	3%	1%	1%	2%	2%	2%	5%	9%	8%	9%	8%	5%	4%	3%	4%	4%	3%	3%	3%	2%	3%	4%	3%

Woots by State

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PRIME MEMBERS

Singer Sewing Machine and Stylist Serger

Left for dead

Features

Specs

Specs

Sales Stats

Purchaser Experience

Purchaser Seniority

Quantity Breakdown

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

Woots by State

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