Looks like the longhairs and the eggheads were right. The planet really does seem to be heating up. Temperatures and ocean levels will continue rising in the coming years – and if you’re smart, so will your personal net worth. Here are a few tips for profiting from the coming global catastrophe:

• People always say beachfront property is so valuable because nobody can make more of it. Wrong! Right now, you can get a three-bedroom bungalow in the town of Jackson, Alabama (elevation 772 ft.), a hundred or so miles from the Gulf of Mexico, for around $40,000. But what happens when the ocean levels rise, all 400,000 residents of coastal Mobile (elevation 10 ft.) need a new place to live, and you’re sitting on a brand-new piece of oceanfront real estate? Name your price!
  
• Consider pursuing an advanced degree in dermatology, oncology, or another skin cancer-related field. With every new hole in the ozone layer, demand for those services keeps going up, up, up. Ch-ching!
  
• Think “outside the big picture”. Sure, you could just plant some orange trees in Maine and wait for the profits to roll in. But somebody’s going to need to protect those orange groves from mobs of starving looters – and they’re going to need bullets to do it. Hoard ammunition, explosives, armor, and weapons now, for resale in the post-cataclysm world. They aren’t getting any cheaper!
  
• Concentrated, portable energy will be at a premium after the collapse of civilization. Turn the sun’s brutal radiation into $$$! The Sunforce Solar AA Battery Charger can juice up 4 AA batteries at once, with no AC connection needed. Today’s Sunforce owner is tomorrow’s battery mogul. The planet’s future is going to be sunnier – with the Sunforce Solar AA Battery Charger, so is yours!

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