My failings aren't my fault.
"Dude, I don't get women. Why'd I get friendzoned?"
"So then she told me, 'I think we're better as friends.' What the hell is that, man?"
"Honesty."
"Dude, you're missing the point. I like her! And she doesn't like me back! That makes her the bad guy."
"I think unrequited infatuation just sort of happens, man. At least she didn't string you along."
"She DID string me along! Every week she would come over and I would cook a frozen pizza and we would watch something on my TiVo Premiere Elite DVR."
"That's it?"
"Sure. Do you know how much stuff this thing holds? We'd watch movies, comedies, even some of her chick shows."
"Did you just say, 'chick shows?'"
"Yeah. Total Friend Zone."
"There's no such thing as a Friend Zone. It sounds like you fell into the 'All I Do is Watch TV' Zone."
"But I like her!"
"Yeah?"
"And she doesn't like me back!"
"Welcome to the world, man. Want a tip?"
"Not really."
"Try making yourself a little more interesting. And learn to appreciate people who tell you up front how they feel."
"Can I tell you upfront right now that you're really annoying the hell out of me?"
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