Just because it’s the end of the world doesn’t mean the floors have to be dirty

Have you had a chance to rest? I do apologize for Curtis’s rather…brusque greeting.

“He nearly shot me! Who are you people? What is this place?”

I’m terribly sorry for that. We’ve had some trouble with looters, raiders, other undesirable elements.

“Undesirable elements?”

Since the…plague, or whatever you want to call it, wiped out most of humanity the few survivors left have been reduced to the type of hard-scrabble life even our forefathers had managed to move beyond. Over 90% of their energy goes into subsistence, be it farming, or pillaging.

“But this place. It’s-”

High tech? I know. It was originally built as a shelter for high-priority types in the government and military. When catastrophe struck, we…liberated it. We started a community here, determined to outlast the sickness. Our water is fed from two springs deep beneath the mountain, solar panels provide most of the electricity.

“Incredible.”

We have people from every walk of life: farmers, engineers, police, even politicians believe it or not. Everyone pulls their weight. Everyone contributes. So what did you do before all this?

“I didn’t really do much. I surfed the internet a lot.”

But what was your job?

“I was kinda between jobs.”

Well no longer! Here you go!

“A bucket, a broom, and a dustpan?”

Yes! Recently our refurbished iRobot Roomba 530 Robotic Vacuum with Virtual Wall went missing, damn looters, so you’ll be filling in!

“But I’m not a vacuum. Or a robot.”

But you’ll do! Just use the broom to efficiently remove dirt, debris, pet hair, dust, and allergens from the carpets and hard floors. Obviously you won’t have the Roomba’s Sturdy Bristle Brush, but a broom and a dustpan should be alright. You can sweep all day and return to your own room, we’ll call it your charging station.

“What’s the bucket for?”

That goes on your head. It adds to the whole “robot vacuum” motif.

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