If you're like me, you're sitting in a hotel room thousands of miles from anyone who cares about you, in the name of covering the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show starting tomorrow in Las Vegas. And you're thinking "WHAT THE FREAK, SCOTT LYDON, WHY DO YOU GET TO SLEEP YOUR IN OWN BED TONIGHT AFTER A 'GRUELING' DAY OF INVENTING FAKE CES COVERAGE?" It's funny how, even in a super-shmancy hotel where the rooms have remote-control linen blinds, the check-in people still remind you that the in-room mini-bar is weight sensitive. No 3 A.M. pig-outs discreetly covered by cut-rate gas-station knockoffs for me.
But you don't care about that. You care about the haps on the ground, the CES recon sitch, the young, restless gadgets bold and beautiful enough to warrant their own yearly soap opera for a few days of our lives. Is "ultra-HD" a real thing we're actually supposed to take seriously, and should I take my Blu-ray collection down to the city dump right now to beat the rush? What if Intel and Qualcomm throw a mobile chip war and nobody shows up? Can we please, please come up with some term for a bulky smartphone other than "phablet"? "Bulky smartphone" works, right?
And if you're at the show, say hi! The place is rife with Wootness! There's the official Woot booth at South Hall 1, 21900. There's the world debut of our roving Mortimer mascot in terrifying larger-than-life-size. And there's me: I look like a Groucho mask without the mustache (pictured at left), and I'll be workin' it like Missy Elliott all over the Convention Center. Come up and bump fists with me and you might just see your face (or, I guess, fist) in this space!