Ultimately, a society lives and dies by its cookware.
Rome fell because of barbarians? No! Rome fell because people forgot how to use cookware! They outsourced to servants and then they didn't know how to take care of themselves. The Pre-Colonial British Empire fell because of the Magna Carta? No! The Pre-Colonial British Empire fell because of the spread of cookware! Nobody needed to go before the King's Hearth to get dinner because they could just take care of it at home! The fall of the Russian Royal Family, the collapse of the Chinese Emperor, that guy you didn't like who just broke up with his girlfriend and got what you consider to be just desserts, all 100% due to cookware!
You gotta get in on this scam before someone else takes over your life with the power of cookware. Seriously. COOKWARE. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.