How Long Must We Wait?
It is with great disappointment that we report the failed merger between Slyson and Dyson.
Dyson is known for some of the vacuuming world's most impressive innovations, including patented root cyclone technology that never loses suction and lifetime filters that never need to be replaced. But imagine, just for a moment, if a Dyson vacuum was MORE than just the best vacuum in the world. Imagine, if you will, if a Dyson was a vacuum AND a vegetable slicer.
It Slysons! It Dysons! Can you imagine the implications? As the powerful centrifugal forces spin dust and dirt out of the air and into the bin, the patented Slyson blades perfectly julienne your carrots! And with just one flick of the high velocity airflow crevice tool - voila! An expertly diced mirepoix in minutes!
But, alas, we must continue to simply imagine. Until a mutually beneficial agreement can be reached between these tech giants, one can only dream of a unified culinary-floor-cleaner front.