Dyson DC44 Animal Cordless Vacuum Cleaner - Blue

by wootbot

The Purrrrfect Crime

Kittens are cute. Cute and DEADLY!

What's that, Little Lucy? Your kitten, Chester, is stuck up in a tree? And he's cold and scared and it's getting dark outside? Wow. Sounds like a rough time for Chester. Let me know when you get that figured out and I'll head out there with my Dyson DC44 to clean up whatever mess he left behind.

You see, Little Lucy, that kitten of yours is a roaming death trap for those with allergies. Everywhere he goes, he leaves behind disgusting heaps of hair and dander that causes certain eyes to water and throats to constrict. No, you're right, Little Lucy: Chester doesn't mean any harm, but harm is what he brings. In other words, he didn't choose to be evil; he just is. Very, very evil. 

So while you're worrying about how to get that little tormentor of the respiratory system safely to the ground, I'm thinking about vacuuming the tree, so that the generations of children that decide to climb it in the future will survive the trip regardless of how their frail systems react to deadly allergens. It's a macro/micro thing. 

Don't worry about what that means, Little Lucy. Just let me know when you get that fluffy chemical bomb out of the tree and I'll start the sterilization process.