Fila Descent Bonded Jackets

by wootbot

An Embarrassment Of Feature Riches

Now featuring both fabric and seams! 

First off: This is a nifty jacket. It's fleecy and warm on the inside, wind- and water-protective on the outside, and (most importantly) it looks good.

However, manufacturers can't content themselves simply by saying "this is a good jacket," and have to throw a bunch of technical jargon your way to impress you. Just look over at the product features. Chin garage? Napoleon pocket? Long sleeves?

In this spirit, here are some other great "features" on this jacket:

  • Twin shoulders for today's bilaterally symmetrical jacket wearers
  • Front
  • Unique "existence," which outperforms nonexistent jackets by 100%
  • Interlocking metal clasps capable of being "zipped"
  • Stainless™ Technology ensures no pre-existing stains
  • Back
  • Alexander The Great lining
  • Designed specifically for humans
  • Not pants
  • Capable of being shoved into a backpack with your lunch and coming out smelling kind of like bananas.