Don't Give A Rat's House
I need two things from a fireplace: it's got to warm the room, and it must not let rats into my house.
Yeah, sure, everybody loves the good old-fashioned fireplace. The family gathered around the hearth, a cozy plume rising from the chimney outside, all that crap. All that goes up in smoke the moment a rat finds its way down that chimney. Oh, you've got a screen or a cap on your chimney? And you're positive that will never be breached? Been up to your roof lately to check on it, have you? No? Then how do you know? HOW CAN YOU BE SURE?
There's only one way. Brick up that vermin pipeline and get yourself a LifeSmart Infrared Fireplace Heater. The built-in fan circulates heat from floor to ceiling through 1,800 square feet of living space. You can program the temperature and timer - good luck trying that with real fire. The exterior cabinet stays cool to the touch, and the "flames" sort of look like fire, if you squint just the right way.
Most importantly, though, there's no possible way any rodents can use the LifeSmart Infrared Fireplace Heater as a conduit into your home. Now all you've got to do is figure out something to do about that toilet.