Magellan 4.7" GPS Lifetime Maps/Traffic

by wootbot

Prepare For Tomorrow

Don't just find your way now. Find your way forever.

The year is 6997. Florescent gangs roam grey shopping malls. Deadly kung-fu robots fight with liquid swords above black hole apartment-spheres. The work of Grant Morrison is taught in pre-schools. This is… the far future.

And yet, your 4.7" Magellan Road Mate GPS will still be able to download updates for the maps.

That's how it works, we're told. Because this Magellan Road Mate GPS will let you download new maps for the life of the GPS receiver. As long as it runs, you'll be able to find real-time traffic information, hands-free Bluetooth calling through the noise-canceling microphone, a One Touch menu with bookmarks to your favorite places, and detailed mileage reporting for your expense reports.

Well, c'mon, you're not going to live until 6997 without a job, are you? We recommend some sort of courier astronaut, so you can fall into a deep freeze. Or maybe a high-tech cyborg super spy, so you can lament the feeling of being more man than machine. "I can find the nearest gas station… BUT I CAN NO LONGER FIND MY SOUL!" That's the sort of thing 6997 is gonna need more of, after all. Real human drama.

And would it hurt you to have a salad once in a while? You want to live another five thousand years, you gotta get some roughage in you.