RealXGear Xtreme Large Cooling Towel 2pk

by wootbot

A Scientific Masterpiece

In a hidden underground laboratory, a scientist puts the finishing touches on his latest and greatest invention.

Henry, come quick!


I want to show you something. I've just made what might be my single greatest contribution to human civilization! After all these years of fiddling with formulas and test tubes, I finally have something to show for my decades of working as a scientist, my apprenticeships, my bachelor's degree, my master's degree, and, of course, my PhD.

"Sir, what is it?"

Before I get to that, let me remind you of the hard work that went into this, and let me remind you how many people contributed to this work. This has been a trying time, an exhausting time. We have poured thousands of man hours into this, gathering many of the top scientists from around the world, and we finally have something to show for it. We finally have something to say, 'See, world, this is why science matters!'

"I can't take it anymore! What did you make?"

Patience is key, Henry. While I know you've had to wait to see this, I just want you to fully understand and truly appreciate how much effort was put into this invention, how much energy and intelligence and resources we poured into creating this.

"I understand. I get it!"

Excellent. Well, here it is.


"Are you going to lift the towel, sir?"

The towel IS the invention.


Now this isn't any ordinary towel ...

"Oh! I get it. It's a magic towel. You wave it over an empty space, and then you make magical items appear? Or, wait, you drape it over a wound, and suddenly it's healed!?"

No, no, but it does keep your body twenty degrees cooler than the temperature around you.

"It does?"

Yes! Exciting, isn't it!?

"I mean, I guess I could see how that'd be useful."

Of course you do! It's incredibly useful. It is science at its most incredible moment. In fact, it is my career. And now that I've completed it, I'm ready for retirement. Bye, Henry. I hope you one day too can create such a magnificent achievement.

"Bye, sir."