Rug Doctor Mighty Pro X3

by wootbot

An Unearthly Mess

This refurbished Rug Doctor X3 will clean up dirt. Just don't expect it to clean up continuity. No Doctor ever manages that feat.

They say Nature abhors a vacuum. I say that's just another adventure waiting to happen. Quick, my companions! To my packing box!

No, my friends, don't be afraid. I'm still the same Rug Doctor X3 from before. I've just ... changed, is all. Some new wires, maybe fresh paint, it's a process my people call "refurbishment," you see. Didn't you know? When a Vacuumifreyian Lord is hurt, they get a sort of, well, a do-over! And by Vacuumifreyian Lord, I mean that I've never been a rental. Low wear and tear, you see.

But let me tell you, I still can wipe out filth in a single pass! No need for a repetitive back-and-forth motion. And I've a commercial-grade motor. Also two hearts, and I can breathe in space. Yes, it's better you don't think too much about how. Something to do with a black hole on a leash, it's all very complex.

Anyway, hello again for the first time! As soon as I fill up my 3.9 gallon tank, we can get started! What would you like to scour from the universe that is your carpet? The Dustleks? The Cyberbitsofdinner? Or maybe you'd just like to zip to the end of the universe and see what that'll look like? Anything's possible when you're a companion of the Rug Doctor X3!

Although I do ask one thing: please put a little time into anagram practice? No, no, not for me, it has to do with an old friend of mine, he's kinda got this thing for- well, never mind. There's a good chance you'll never meet him.