Never buy knives from a 4-fingered man. Unless they're really good knives.
"As you can see, the Shun Classic line features beautiful Damascus-clad blades and D-shaped ebony PakkaWood handles."
Let me get this straight. You have lost exactly six fingers, including one thumb, and you sell KNIVES for a living?
"Yeah, but …"
HEY LARRY! Get a load of the cajones on THIS guy! Dude chopped off a bunch of fingers and wants me to buy knives from him!
"I didn't exactly chop them off. I lost them in freak accidents totally unrelated to these razor-sharp blades with incredible edge retention."
"So as I was saying, when using these knives, only cut on wood or plastic cutting boards. Never stone, metal or glass."
How about fingers? Is it OK to cut on fingers?
"Actually, Shun strongly recommends that you not use these knives to cut through bone. So no fingers."
Guess you didn't get that memo, huh Pal?
"If I tell you how I lost my fingers, will you buy a set of these knives?"
Buddy, if you can tell me that, I'll buy two. One of each set. Wanna shake on it? Ha ha. Just kidding, of course. Cuz you can't, well, you know.
"Hilarious. Anyway … this one I lost in 10th grade shop class. Yes, I was making a bird house. I lost these two feeding the fish in my neighbor's koi pond. Turns out they weren't koi fish. And these two I slammed in the car door."
What about the thumb?
"Ah yes. The thumb. Well usually I just tell people I lost it in a tragic hitchhiking incident. But between you and me …"
"I lost it when I killed the last guy who asked me how I lost all my fingers."
Cool. Cool. So, are these knives dishwasher safe?
"Actually, no. You should hand wash them for best results."
Ha! You're kidding! So then how do you … you know what? Never mind.