Swann Security System

by wootbot

Fight Night

This easy-to-install 4 camera Swann Security System is a great way to keep an eye on valuables, like, for example, your prized jewelry.

Now, some of you are probably thinking, "pfft! No need for that!" because, through either magic or a science experiment gone wrong, your prized jewelry has gained sentience and you've trained it to fight for itself. But, before you click away to some page about how to build tiny nun-chucks or something, consider this:

  • Are you really sure your sentient jewelry can fight? Most likely, their training has been primarily jewelry-to-jewelry sparring. Are you sure they can even handle someone of human size and strength?
  • Did you really train all of your sentient jewelry to fight? Like, aren't there a few bracelets or earrings that you trained to do other stuff like clean and cook and play you sweet ballads on the baby grand? Don't those pieces of jewelry also deserve to feel safe and secure in their own house?
  • Okay, so let's say you answered "yes" to both of these last two questions: Your jewelry can fight. All of it. Every single ring, necklace, and broach you own is capable of busting skulls. Hard. Well, then don't you wanna WATCH them in action?! Like, let's say you come home and find a burglar tied up and hanging upside down from the ceiling fan: don't you want to know how THAT happened? You bet you do!

See, turns out you're not above owning security cameras after all, owners of sentient jewelry!