by wootbot

S.A.D. Company

Deep blacks, and deeper blues. 

If the best thing you have to do on a Saturday is check this crappy deals website, chances are you're clinically depressed. Psychologists say that extra daylight can help you snap out of the blues, and Daylight Savings Time is just around the corner, so your crippling melencholy might be nearing an end. 

But hey, maybe you were just starting to enjoy your Seasonal Affective Disorder; maybe you don't want to "escape the crushing spiral of depression."

Here's the trick to maintaining your debilitating mental condition: Replace all the windows in your house with VIZIO 29" 720p LED HDTVs, and set them to play a dreary wintertime scene. Just grab some footage of Siberia or something, and set it to loop on all the TV "windows" in your place. The crystal-clear HD picture of gray, snow-blasted landscapes will help you drift back into the melancholia where you feel comfortable.

Of course, there might be other signs of spring that infect your den of ennui, such as the joyous chorus of migrating birds in the morning. To avoid this scourge, you'll need to loop Finnish death metal through the TVs' immersive SRS StudioSound HD. Nobody knows wintertime angst like the Finns.

If none of this works, and you feel yourself awaking from the nightmare of depression, just watch NBC's prime-time sitcom lineup on your VIZIO. You'll plummet back into existential despair -- we promise.