What Are We Expecting From Today's Verizon/iPhone Announcement In New York?

by Team Chuckle!

  • Exclusive Verizon levels of Angry Birds
  • Press conference postponed after Bono's harness breaks during rehearsals
  • For a more "street" feel, smoked salmon sandwiches at reception are infected with e. coli
  • Press conference tagline: "If You Can Hold It Here, You Can Hold It Anywhere"
  • AT&T trademarks the name of every remaining species of big cat
  • A pained reference to New York being "The Big Apple" by Steve Jobs is followed by a blog post by Jon Gruber declaring it "the funniest thing he's ever heard ever"
  • All those people who say "I'll buy an iPhone when I can use it with Verizon" start saying "I'll buy an iPhone when I can use it with 1-800-COLLECT"
  • Tony Kushner and Tracy Letts called in at the last minute to "punch up the dialogue"
  • Several Asian attendees detained under suspicion of being Jason Chen
  • Yankees sign "Can You Hear Me Now?" guy to 7-year, $118 million contract