Woot Changes Business Model To Text-Adventure Format

by Jason Toon

Almost six years ago, we were the first pioneers to settle in the remote backwoods of deal-a-day ecommerce. We cleared the underbrush, chased off the critters, and installed the plumbing. And other settlers followed our lead. A lot of other settlers. Now this country’s gotten a little too crowded for us. So we’re moving on to a completely different approach that is certain to revolutionize online shopping all over again. Today, a new adventure begins.

Woot Your Own Adventure, that is. Instead of offering one boring old sale a day, we’re offering more choices – and not just product choices. To find that really awesome deal every day, you have to play your way through a text adventure to successfully reach the big prize. C’mon, real wooters aren’t going to let a few frog-men or barbarians or desperadoes stand between them and that cheap netbook.

So get yourself clicked over to the Woot front page and start living the adventure. Our web wizards have made it impossible for you to skip ahead, so no cheating. And no using your browser’s BACK button, either. Each page offers links to back up a step or go back to the beginning, if you take a wrong turn. Ecommerce has never been so aggravating or time-consuming!

But don’t bother whining at us about how “it’s too hard.” That’s exactly the point. If you want to take advantage of our deal acumen and our economies of scale, you’re going to have to quit being so lazy about it. We already find the products and store them in our warehouse and ship them out – why should we do all the work in this relationship?

Yes, we fully expect to drive most of you away in frustration and disgust. That’s fine with us. As Michael Jackson and Prince have taught us, what good are a huge fanbase and massive public goodwill if you can’t squander them on crazy acts of ego-driven insanity? Happy adventuring!