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Wootcasts from the Past: Back To School Edition

by Matthew Norman

Our Dealgebra week of back-to-school deals and diversions is wrapping up! But not before we spend a few minutes in music class. Fill your ears with a few of the most educationally enriching tracks from our Wootcast archives!


Over the years, our podcast machine has extruded several ditties on the subject of the American Presidency. (We even rounded them up in a previous Wootcasts From The Past post here.) Put these in rotation on your portable media player of choice and see if you don't learn something! Spoiler alert: You won't.

I Know All The Presidents (in Order) – Recorded well before the most recent Presidential election, this song no longer comprises ALL the chief executives.

Washington & Lincoln – Packed with facts! Some of them possibly true.

Abe Lincoln Kicks Knowledge – We think the kids could get more excited about history if teachers presented it to them like this. Not all the kids, of course. But the really stupid ones.


Philosophy is the top of a cereal box. Geography is distinguishing the top from the other five sides.

Ferdinand Magellan The Circumnavigator – With this single recording, we met and exceeded any extant public demand for dopey tunes about Portuguese explorers. But when we went on to make a bunch of other versions – well, that was just idiotic.


Music is all about dividing time into segments, and arranging notes at meaningful intervals. It's a kind of sonic math, you know? However disparate they may seem, music and mathematics are very closely related disciplines, and the following recordings prove our podcast team is equally inept at both.

Pi to 157 Digits After the Decimal – In "honor" of Pi Day 2008, we posted this track, the title of which pretty much tells the whole story.

D=RT – This number accompanied a sale in... 2006, I would guess? We were hawking a Timex watch that I think had some kind of built-in high-tech GPS capability to track the wearer's distance and pace while running (or whatever). This song praised the old ways instead.


Do they still teach Home Ec? Back when I had to take it, I remember noticing how light the curriculum was on actual economics. Mostly we baked stuff.

Toast – Bonus Woot Nerd points to anyone who digs up our alternate version of this song. Bonus Life Coach points to anyone who can explain what could possibly have gone so wrong for us, personally and professionally, to bring us to the point of recording an alternate version of this moronic ditty.

Bread – Man does not live by bread alone, they say. And it's true. An all-bread diet is a recipe for rickets.