Once again, your sloth, indolence, and disregard for others have put the whole holiday season at risk. You waited too long to buy that Christmas gift from Woot, and now it won't be here in time. We shouldn't bail you out again like this. You'll never learn. But in the spirit of the season, please accept this PDF file suitable for printing out and giving in lieu of the actual, not-yet-arrived gift.
If we all wish real hard and believe with all our hearts, that one-page PDF might just be enough to save Christmas. You might want to print it on some enchanted elf paper or something, just to be on the safe side.