It's back there
Never leave your phone behind again! Ever!
Honey, are you sure this is the right thing to do?
"Yes, Ted. It's the right thing to do. You're going to leave your smartphone home and we're going to walk down the street, go to lunch, and you're not going to take any calls or answer any emails or do any of that."
Okay. I guess.
"Deep breaths. You can do this, Ted! I believe in you. One step at a time. Perfect. See, this isn't so har- what's that noise?"
Oh jeez! It's my ZOMM Wireless Bluetooth Cellphone Leash! It lets me know when I've left my phone behind! This is too much. I gotta go back. I gotta get it!
"No, Ted! You've come too far! We're almost to the sidewalk!"
It's crying. Doesn't the ZOMM sound like it's crying?
"It sounds like an alarm clock to me."
A sad alarm clock. Shhh. It's okay buddy. You're going to be just fine! Gosh, I don't know if I can do this alone.
"I'm right here."
Maybe I'll use the ZOMM to call 911, so I can talk to one of their on-duty therapists for some guidance.
"I don't think 911 has on-duty therapists."
See! That's something I could have looked up if I had my phone with me! I feel so hopeless!
"Wait, what's that noise?"
That means I have a call coming in. I should probably take it.
"It takes calls? Ted, that ZOMM thing is as bad as your phone itself!"
Yeah, you're right. If it's like this, I might as well just go grab it from inside.
"Ugh! You know what, if you love your phone so much, why don't you just take IT to lunch?"
Honey, that's what I've been saying all along!