"Have you ever had sex in really cold weather?"
"You're so little, you need to eat more, Damien!"
"It's not the way I used to do it. I kind of like it, I'm still getting used to it."
"Hey, I lasted for twenty minutes. And then five more after you let me in again."
"It's going to be so nice today, I didn't want to wear any pants."
"Is that your Squatty Potty? Did you bring your Squatty Potty to the office?"
"I'm not very good at using my thing here."
"I want to grab your thing."
"If you come over here, I'll stick a fork in you."
"It used to be tight. But now it's not. I've been stretching it out all week."
"I can't see it, but I can feel it. It's soft! I wonder what that is?"
"If you want to spend 5 or 10 minutes with us, we'll show you how it looks and what it feels like."
"I have my vibrator on today, so I hope it's not obnoxious."
"This floss expired in 2016. Do you think it's still safe?"
"If it's long, it's wrong. Go with the shorter one."
"I'm the I.T. guy, I don't swipe to get in anywhere!?
"I remember the first time I saw a bagel. I didn't know what they were. I thought it was the biggest donut I ever saw."
"That chart is going to save your a$$."
"There is no level of complexity we aren't willing to drive into this thing."
"If I could order her online... I'd order two of her. Ohhhhh, yeah..."
"Did you get them because everybody knows you like nuts?"
"I hope this salad doesn't kill me."
"Now that he's on me all the time, I wish I went a little bit harder on him when I was on him."
"It's very moist. You're going to get a big piece."
One way or another, before tonight, we're going to have a go at it.
"How do you know the toilet water's cold, Jens? Do YOU drink from it?"
"Wheels are proven science! We've been using them for thousands of years!"
"It tells me 'no' all the time, but I keep hitting it until it lets me in."
"She drooled a lot, but didn't throw up all weekend."
"I got this thing here, but I got no idea what to do with it."
"I tried to shove it back too far, and it's not going to go back that far."
"High fiving him was like high fiving a 5-year-old."
"I was in Mexico, and they didn't have sour cream there to put on my taco! Do you know how hard it is to eat a taco without sour cream? I mean, come on, I'm an American, we invented Mexican food, so Mexico better step it up here!"
"Oh, sorry, my finger didn't quite go where I thought it was going to go."
"Nobody brags about eating salads, Joyce!"
"Hot flashes or not, it feels good."
"Jens jerked it down and it went down."
"It's the first time for me too, John"
"You didn't even see my whole cucumber, how do you know how big it was?"
"It's true that if you don't use it, you lose it. But... there are different ways that you can use it."
View All →