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quality posts: 17 Private Messages WootBot


1. An Antique Claw-Footed Bathtub vs. Two Trumpets in terms of Avoiding Illness

To avoid illness, you want to keep yourself clean. But you also want to limit your exposure to other people’s germs. So while you can wash yourself off in a claw foot tub, you’re also risking your good health by lowering yourself into something that very well may be encrusted with several generations’ worth of sickness. So, instead of taking a nasty bath in a dirty old tub, drink lots and lots of fluids. How will you stay thirsty enough to keep drinking, you ask? Simple: by spitting. What’s the most productive way to spit, you ask? Simple: by playing trumpet. What’s better than playing just one trumpet, you ask? Simple: playing two trumpets.


Two Trumpets

2. A Box Fan vs. A Fistful of Traveler’s Checks in terms of Hula-Hooping

Before we even start to compare these two things, we need to establish whether we’re talking about a box fan – like one of those big devices that blows air – or box fan – as in someone who’s very fond of boxes. Now, the fact that it’s the summer and our offices are located in Seattle – which gets hot enough to demand circulation but not hot enough to really warrant air conditioning – might lead you to believe it’s the first option; however, we are an online retailer, and in this business, if you’re not way into boxes, you’re going to be frustrated. What I’m getting at is without knowing for sure which one we’re talking about, we have no idea how “A Box Fan” will affect your hula-hooping.


A Fistful of Traveler’s Checks

3. A Dystopian Future vs. Ankle Soreness in terms of Putting in an In-Ground Pool

Who has sore ankles? Athletic people. Why? Because they’re out doing athletic stuff. What does athletic stuff do to your muscles? It builds them. And what can you do with muscles? Dig big holes to put pools into. However, if someone has sore ankles, which muscles was he or she building? The leg kind. And which kind of muscles do you use to wield a shovel? The arm kind.  Now, one final question: which kinds of holes don’t require any digging at all on your part? The kinds made by the bombs that get dropped when the world comes unglued.

A Dystopian Future

Now, you're favorite part (and my least favorite part, since it's the part where I admit that I WAS WRONG), The Rebuttal of the Week! This week, I'm awarding it to xXevilklownXx who uses science to totally kill my argument against lava in terms of doing a triathlon:

I disagree with your analysis of lava in terms of doing a triathlon. As you astutely pointed out, lava is liquid rock. What you failed to mention is that it is extremely hot liquid rock. Water is much lower in temperature than said liquid rock, and thus when the hot liquid rock touches the cool water, it will turn to solid rock, thereby shortening the distance of the swim. Swimming a shorter distance is typically faster than swimming a longer distance (at least insofar as Einsteinium physics holds up), so lava would definitely help with the swim.

Do you have it in you to take me down? Well, probably. I mean, I get owned every week. And next just might be YOURS! So go ahead, disagree with the above arguments in the comments below!

"Things my dad gave me back, part two: my old trumpet (7:365)" by flickr user, Francis Storr; "use of and and or" by flickr user, Lisa Padilla; "Bombed Buildings, Belgrade" by flickr user, watchsmart. All used under a Creative Commons License.


quality posts: 9 Private Messages dukeofwulf

1. An Antique Claw-Footed Bathtub vs. Two Trumpets in terms of Avoiding Illness

The bath tub's clawed feet will protect you from rat-borne plagues, and the accompanying shower curtain can save you from Malaria, Yellow Fever, and West Nile.

Knowing the average Woot user, these two trumpets would surely come refurbished. And a good way to get sick is to put your mouth where someone else's has been. And if you dodge that bullet, being a musician has a storied history of association with mental illnesses. If you're 27 years old, DO NOT pick up a trumpet!

Advantage: An Antique Claw-Footed Bathtub


quality posts: 2 Private Messages kodiak55

You present two possible definitions to the term "box fan," let me provide a third: a person who enjoys a sports team and has access to box seating.

As someone who's been to a fair share of sports events, I know that some fans are willing to do anything for attention. Given how tightly packed the standard seating is at most venues, it would be very difficult for the average fan to hula-hoop during the event (not to mention the hassle he'd get from security trying to get the hoop through the door). A fan with box seats, however, would have plenty of room, attracting the TV cameras, and getting him his 15 seconds of fame.

Does anyone still use travelers checks? The rise in popularity of credit cards over the past several years has led to the decline of merchants willing to accept traveler's checks, especially for smaller purchases where the merchant would have to turn over a lot of cash in change. Therefore, if you want to buy a hula-hoop to take to your skybox (or anywhere for that matter) and all you have is travelers checks, you might be out of luck.

Being a box fan is clearly better than having a fistful of traveler's checks when it comes to hula-hooping!


quality posts: 83 Private Messages mossygreen

I don't know, doesn't a dystopian future have the edge over ankle soreness in putting in an in-ground pool simply because, due to the inevitable breakdown of society, one won't have to apply for a building permit? Or adhere to any building codes? Is the post-apocalyptic motorcycle gang going to stop by to make sure your pool is the proper number of feet in from the roadway? Probably not.

On the other hand, if this is a 1984-style dystopian future, you'll be sent to the Ministry of Love if you build too close to the property line. Then the advantage would clearly be to sore ankles as they would make you seem less of a threat to a repressive government.

I'm torn.