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quality posts: 17 Private Messages WootBot


As you all know, our copier is run by an octopus that lives inside it. We've had this copier for over a year, but we are still experiencing USER ERROR. i.e.: You half-wits keep screwing up. I'm attaching an OCTOPUS COPIER PROTOCOL, which I will also post in the copy room. Keep in mind that the octopus CANNOT BE REPLACED, so killing it would effectively destroy this company.

Click for full image


Katherine Tull-Potts, BA
Office Manager


quality posts: 8 Private Messages jcolag

Sadly, this is a piece of cake compared to what I've worked with over the years.

At my first job, we didn't have printers or copy machines on the floor. For some sort of half-assed counterpart of "efficiency," we had a shadow of an old-fashioned copy-center, without the service.

To print, we e-mailed links to our documents (on the server) to an alias within the company.

Then, some time later in the day, the telephone would ring. Nobody would speak. They'd just ring the phone until someone picked it up, then hang up, like giggling teenagers calling their crushes.

That was the signal, presumably because we couldn't afford a spotlight with a bat-shaped cutout on the roof. At this point, you walked to a corner of the building with no cubicles, down a hallway with no features (like a door, say) except a repurposed cafeteria table.

That table had your printout.

You wanted multiple copies? Well, there was a basket of forms hanging on the wall. Fill out the relevant form, clip it to your printout, and leave the new bundle on the table. Return to the desk to await "the signal."

I always wanted to leave my shoes on the table overnight to see if elves fixed them.

An octopus would have been an improvement. A shame we can't keep the cuttlefish, though.


quality posts: 6 Private Messages Number019

You must be kidding.....Right?


quality posts: 54 Private Messages Moueska

MS. Tull-Potts! MS. TULL-POTTS!!!

... it's escaped!