My Bounty of Contents!!!
(A Tale of Disappointment)
1 x Empty bag that possibly once contained air from Texas
1 x My Crap draw sting bag - Green
1 x Woot luggage tag proudly proclaiming to baggage handlers everywhere that, "My other car is also luggage." Perhaps this is to confuse them enough that they won't think to steal anything???
1 x Personal fan that can be worn around the neck. So far this has only caused 3 fights between the kiddos over who should be the barer of this remarkable feat of human ingenuity. Sadly, there can be only one.
1 x Skull sticker that surprisingly was claimed by my 3 year old. I'm going to put it next to his bed. What could possibly go wrong? Side note, why doesn't this thing glow in the dark? Oh, that's right, disappointment.
1 x Woot monkey with a picnic blanket cape. I'm not going to lie, I was really hoping for the blue caped one.
1 x Panduit surface mount box. On the plus side Panduit makes the best surface mount boxes. However, on the minus side it's a surface mount box.
1 x Pack of multicolored Velcro cable ties. I don't mean multicolored in the sense that each is composed of multiple colors or somehow possesses an innate ability to change color, because that would be something. No, sadly, I mean I have a pack of cable ties where each one is assigned a static color that may differ from it's neighbor.
1 x BoVee Universal Stick Anywhere Car Mount with Washable Super Strong Suction Cup and Swivel Push Fit Technology! Okay, let's break that down. First off, though I haven't gotten it out of the box; I'm pretty sure it's going to disappoint in the "Stick Anywhere" department. Second, why would I want to mount a car to it? Also, what is "swivel push fit technology" and how do we weaponize it? I'm disappointed that I may never know the answer to these questions.
1 x 8-pack of party hats featuring a snail from the movie "Turbo". Sadly, I already promised M. Bison that I wasn't going Turbo, so now I don't know what to do with them.
1 x Hello Kitty case for an iPod Touch 4. My little girl squealed with delight, took it from me and proclaimed that it was her new play phone. Disappointment fail.
1 x Large blue jock strap that is too small. Sadly not the jock part, just the strap part. Disappointment reminder.
1 x Konjac sponge. It's Vegan, so it's got that going for it.
1 x Samsung S6 Edge case. It looks impressive, but without the phone it may experience an existential crisis. Honestly, I have enough drama in my life. I don't need to add a weepy phone case to the mix. Maybe I'll give it purpose by using it as a soap dish or something. Do people still use soap dishes?
1 x AOER Lapel Shoulde...GP339, GP340, GP360, New. This got me excited. Even though I don't posses anything to plug this into; I sat around with my 3 year old for something like 10 minutes talking into it like the stupid robots from the Star Wars prequels, "Roger, Roger". A good time was had by all. Next I want to walk around with it trying to look important. I can't decide if I want to have the cord hanging out, or tucked into a pocket.
and finally, the piece de resistance:
1 x Box of 4, unbroken, 24oz. Blue Mason Jar Mugs. They claim to have been established in 1898. I'm not sure what that claim entails, but consider me impressed. I was going to count this as a disappointment fail until I looked in the lower left corner
"Handwash Only Recommended"
That's when my world crumbled.