Gentlemen, I don’t think I need to tell you that we here at Detective Clocks have a bit of a crisis on our hands.

It’s getting tougher and tougher to sell clocks out there, people. We’ve lost the kids, lost the small amount of women due to over-sexualization and the lack of diversity in clock making. Sadly, our main demographic are men in their thirties who’d rather talk about how our BatClocks were better years ago, how they could make a better SuperClocks, and mocking our poor, beloved AquaClocks on the Internet.

The good news is we’ve managed to keep these horrid fanboys buying our products through a combination of recycled clock making and nostalgia. We’ve done large scale crossovers, alternate reality versions, and we’ve nearly killed and resurrected nearly every clock we make. We’ve even taken to rebooting our entire warehouse every few years or so. Now, the well of ideas has run dry. That, combined with our inability to create anything new and meaningful, may break us entirely.

Maybe now is the time we start taking risks, we told ourselves. Maybe we can use this lull to try original, bold ideas in our clocks. Maybe we should stop following the whims of an unknowable bunch of basement dwellers and strike out in a brave new direction.

And then we remembered we still had the rights to that much-loved Watch Men series of clocks from twenty-five years ago and figured we hadn’t milked that for all it’s worth.

So here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to tell the story of what happened BEFORE the Watch Men through these Invicta Men’s Vintage Watches. People familiar with the Swiss quartz movements and flame-fusion crystal will immediately be interested in returning to the stylish elegance of the past! And the fanboys that scream in all caps in the forums won’t be able to fight the quality components that make up each one, from the bold metallic dial with silver-toned hour markers right down to the black leather watch strap and stainless steel buckle clasp! We simply can’t lose!

Until this Previous To Watch Men series is over and we’re left with nothing again. Don’t worry, though. We’re planning a line of SandClocks as we speak. Trust me; it’s a better idea than anything Marvel Clocks has come up with recently.

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