Ah, television. With you, I no longer need friends, hobbies, or family. You are the golden calf, the Cornucopia, the Tree of Life. Life has become little more than one prolonged commercial break... but as I devote myself to you, I see now that our great romance could be even impossibly greater, with just a few more inches and pixels.
It knows what you like. What you want. What you need. And it's gonna give it to you, in a thousand colors and timeslots. Primetime, daytime, Sweeps Week, it doesn't even matter, baby, VIZIO's gonna TV you like you've never beeen TVed before, and leave you spent and drooling on your couch.