Woot® : One Day, One Deal™

See, I’m the sort of person who likes to cover all the bases in life. I can understand why some people might hold a “sit-in” now and then, but I also like capitalism too! So when I go out to an event, I use the Kelty Versatile Chair to make sure I can fit in, no matter what the situation.

If I’m down at the local protest, the 600-D Polyester mini-ripstop and Oxford fabrics let me hold my ground comfortably. I’ll be able to yell “Right on!” and “Power to the people!” with the best of them, while saving wear-and-tear on my legs. But if the cops show up? Why, I just pull out a business magazine from the attached mesh pocket and say “Oh, wow, this isn’t the line for Jimmy Buffett tickets, officer?” And then I quickly collapse it, grab one of the dual carry handles, and get the heck out of there before the trouble starts.

Meanwhile, if I actually am in line for Jimmy Buffett tickets, the Kelty Versatile Chair keeps me comfortable. I can use the adjustable webbing side straps to move between different positions, while still keeping the style you expect from a high-rolling Parrothead. Plus, since this Kelty Versatile Chair comes in a two-pack, I can set up a second and pretend my buddy just ran off for a snack! Then I just set a price, make a few posts online, and boom, I’ve auctioned off the seat to the highest bidder! Take that, TIcketmorons! Score one for the common man!

What do you mean that’s immoral? Oh, so you’ll try to bring down the entire global stock market but getting cash for an extra ticket is somehow unethical? Man, whatever. Get out of my Kelty Versatile Chair two pack and mind your own business before I hit you with my Forbes.