Modems are to surfboards what the internet is to the sea. Also, they help you find better analogies.
Try to get online with no modem. Just try. YOU CAN'T. Well, maybe you can, if you can read a million ones and zeroes every second. But if you can do that, you've got an amazing talent. You shouldn't waste it on the Internet. Buy a modem and give your talent to the world!
That would be a GREAT title for a spy thriller! Too bad we just wasted it on this knife sale. Sorry, Hollywood.
Without memorabilia, you might forget that football exists!
Now that's what I call a corkscrew!
The stuff you wished they threw in for free BUT THEY NEVER DO, OHHHHH, THEY NEVER EVER DO
Buy the team you hate so your butt will be in their face.
Buy one of those matching BFF heart necklaces and give one half to your shoe.
The Puma Men don't always want to wear fancy shoes. Sometimes they just want to get casual.
What kind of crest keeps your stuff safe? Go on. Think about the answer for a bit. It'll come to you.
It's buy a shirt o'clock.
Without storage, what do you have? That's right. A big ol' mess.
What unifies the steampunk baloonist and the opera-lover? A classy scarf.
B means Beverly. H means Hills. P means Polo. C means Club. You're welcome.
Reebok: bok and then bok again.
You don't want to attempt to do a mandukasana pose in skinny jeans
A mural is just another way of saying "Hey! Now I don't have to paint that wall!"
If you want a projector for your submarine, you'll need to buy a different projector.
If your name is Philip and you buy these, you can add an apostrophe. Everyone else? NO APOSTROPHE.
Autumn is just like a delicious meal. Not too hot, not too cold, and mostly golden brown.
Remember external floppy disk drives? Boy, those seemed so high tech.
Impress your friends and stun wildlife with shiny ink!
More snuggly than being inside a bear's digestive system! Incidentally, always store your food properly.
Happily Exercising At Da gym.
Re-Joy and Re-Lax!
They really just convert to another form of laptop. They don't become jet fighters or dinosaurs. Sadly.
Really, you could build them anywhere you wanted to haul this stuff.
Beer shirts! What'll we think of next?!
Why do we have to qualify the "audio headphone" part? "Video headphones" would just be "glasses."
Helps you get the jump on any bad guy with seven channels or less.
Get these ninjas to protect you from the other ninjas. What? You didn't know about the other ninjas?
You'll never be in the 1%. But the 2% is a nice place to be, too. That's almost as elite.
Peanuts? Boom. Yogi? Boom. Flintstones? Boom. Tweety? Boom. Giraffes with no cartoon of their own? BOOM.
Technically everything is mobile if you're strong enough to carry it
I before E except after A/V
Buy one, make an exact copy, print it out, sell it to someone, earn back your money. Isn't that how it works?
