It'll be your last stand. Maybe.
MEMO: TO MR. DAVIDSON
Rocky, we're loving the new version of "The Alamo" that you're finishing up! All of us are looking forward to a 300 million dollar opening weekend next year! However the marketing team have some concerns about cross-promotion, so they wanted me to ask if you could compromise on a few things here and there.
1) In the scene where Dave Cronckett makes his passionate speech to rally the troops, can we change the line "Boys, this might be our last stand" to "Boys, this is our KitchenAid Stand Mixer with a 325-watt motor" instead? It might tie in better with a web promotion that Terri's trying to finish.
2) Can we replace the scene where James Bowie saves the orphan with a scene where he saves a 5-quart polished stainless steel bowl? We're feeling bowls test better than orphans in the 18-29 market, and orphans aren't really as easy to merchandise. Also, did we run "James Bowie" past legal? His name seems a little too close to a certain rock star, we don't want any issues there.
3) Can we add a giant spider in at the end? We're worried the battle against Mexico might not be as easy to understand for viewers in the Chinese market. Incidentally, if there's a way to tie in Japan with the giant spider, that would be very helpful as far as closing a distribution deal. Even a single line added it post or maybe just a battle flag behind the spider's engine room?
4) At the end, please make sure David Cronckett survives, along with the KitchenAid Stand Mixer! This is NON-NEGOTIABLE! We'll need him for "Al2lmo: Rise Of Cronckett" which projections already show at 250 million if we complete it by 2017. Also remember to showcase the KitchenAid Stand Mixer's ergonomically designed handle as the reason he survives.
Let us know when you've got these changes in place. Also, can we do something fun with the poster, like add a pegasus? Carl's ten year old daughter says she'll see any movie with a pegasus in it. I know we're going for a hard R, but it can't hurt to get this poster in front of as many eyes as possible, right?
See you at the standup in Dubai next Thursday. Don't be late! It's important! Wear a tie!