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HOW TO START YOUR MORNING

by John Osebold

In case you walked into the wrong seminar again, this is HOW TO START YOUR MORNING. Good luck and......good luck.

1. let alarm ring

2. don't wake up

3. don't wake up

4. don't wake up

5. fine, wake up...stupid alarm

6. bathroom

7. no, that's the closet

8. bathroom

9. wait, you don't have a closet

10. breakfast

11. there's no food 

12. sift through garbage

13. check email

14. go back in time and don't check email

15. continue eating cold chicken from garbage while getting dressed

16. insult clothes

17. brush teeth—never mind no time

18. go to work

19. go back, finish putting on clothes

20. now go to work

21. (if you work from home or work night shift, why did you wake up)

22. stare blankly at everything

23. remember when you were asleep?...so amazing

24. now get out there and...............do something