It is not advisable for you to spend a lot of money on a computer.
You're a veritable circus performer, juggling home and work life with flair and leaping through sticky situations with ease. As such, you require a computer that can keep up with you. This is your computer.
The Lenovo ThinkPad Yoga 11E-G3 11.6" Touch Ultrabook has been trained since birth for the challenges you present it. No other computer bends to the will of your
clumsy, oafish hands mind like this one. No other computer braves driving off with it on the roof of your car gravity-defying stunts like this one. No other computer can withstand being set on fire and then submerged for an hour in a toilet tank of water like this one.
Seriously, though. You've got a lot of weird stuff going on. We're not sure you're responsible enough for a computer. But if you're going to get one, you might as well get one of these.