Woot® : One Day, One Deal™

Solely in the public interest - and not at all because I'm personally burdened with a ridiculous debt now several times larger than the amount I borrowed when I was 18 - I humbly direct your attention to this awesome Consumerist infographic on the evolution of the student loan from social-service program to burdensome rip-off.

I understand now that my mistake was running that debt up in pursuit of something frivolous like an education. If I'd done it by buying big-screen TVs and jet skis and Xboxes on a credit card, I could discharge the debt in bankruptcy and skip away scot-free. Plus I'd have a bunch of awesome stuff.

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To see this right, as far as we can tell, the Arcade Fire want you to be on a 15" MacBook using Chrome. It'll still work with Firefox on a 12" screen, it's just gonna really start to bug you when the little popping windows start activating. Also, if you're doing work or anything, that's probably not gonna fly. But for all you hipsters lounging in the coffee shop who can just focus on this GENIUS piece of ART… hey, enjoy it! The Arcade Fire presents The Wilderness Downtown, an interactive video where you can listen to their music as you see… pictures of your childhood house.

Or your company headquarters, whichever you prefer. More after the jump.

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As a species we face more decisions now than we ever have in the history of human kind. While our ancestors faced such intellectual challenges as "Will there be more food to the East or West?" or "Is that thing poisonous?" to get through their day, we can sometimes have to make a dozen decisions before the day even starts: what to eat for breakfast, what to wear to work, whether or not to brush your teeth, the list goes on and on. It can lead to paralyzing indecision as you begin to realize you're willing to do pretty much anything if someone ELSE would just decide. So leave it up to What Could I Do Today...

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Thirty years ago, America was gripped by the humiliating agony of the Iran Hostage Crisis. There was nothing most of us could do about those 52 Americans held captive in the U.S. embassy in Tehran. But a small force of musicians did what musicians always do in moments of crisis: write topical songs about it that would be forgotten as soon as the whole mess was resolved. Here's our Iran Hostage Crisis Top 6:

"Storm the Embassy" - Stray Cats (some NSFW lyrics)
Brian Setzer's a guitar legend and all that, but on the list of public figures I'd turn to for geopolitical analysis he ranks somewhere between Joyce DeWitt and Vinny Testaverde. After this unconvincing litany of swipes at the Iranians, the Russians, and the New York Times, he mercifully limited his future screeds to complaints about disco records on the jukebox. (Interesting note: while this cut appeared on the Cat's U.K. debut album, it's one of a handful of songs from their career that have never been officially released in the U.S.)

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It's Monday. I've got nothing. So here's some really attractive Turkish people singing about Facebook and messaging each other instead of using the chat feature between dance breaks. There also seems to be a curious lack of annoying Farmville updates. Maybe that's why they're dancing?

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I'll be honest. I did a lot of things for money as a teenager I'm not proud of, including, but not limited to, passing out breadsticks to snickering friends or dancing around in a mouse suit for the entertainment of children. But if I had walked into The Freckled One's Squared-Burger House on my first day and been forced to watch these orientation videos, I might have run for the door, car insurance be damned.

I can't be certain, but I think they stole that bassline from Paula Abdul. And I can only assume that the noise she makes at 1:08 is some kind of strange company mating call. Who knows?

Of course, that's got nothing on the way Mr. Hot Drinks attempts to seduce you as he sings about the proper way to prepare coffee.

I can't imagine what it must've been like having sit there in your uniform and visor and not be horrified. Then again, most people can't imagine having to lube up a kid's hand to get it unstuck from a skeeball machine, so I guess we're even.

[Thanks to superbadgirl for the links!]

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There's a certain amount of trust that come with about twelve years of friendship. So when my best friend Dave says to me, "Dude, I need some help dragging this thing out the alley and into my girlfriend's house," I don't even bother saying no. I just ask for enough time to finish my beer while secretly hoping it's not a deer cadaver this time.

We stare at his latest find for a few minutes before he sighs and says, "Gosh DANG. Isn't it gorgeous? I'm telling you, man, nature's pretty rad, huh?"

"It's a branch, Dave. A very large, possibly termite-ridden branch."

"BAH!" He bats away my pessimism with a wave of his hand. "That thing's a reading light if I ever saw one. Come on. I need to get this inside before Amy gets home."

"Right. Because it'll be harder to see how bad an idea this is when it's inside her bedroom rather than next to the dumpster the local pee-bums like to vomit in."

"EXACTLY."

This is the main difference between he and I. Whereas I normally view the world as one ever-growing Katamari of doom and disappointment, Dave sees something awesome in everything, even the stuff that other people might throw away. That's a pretty enviable talent to have, I say. Take the following three artists, for instance.

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Am I, like, the only person on the Internet who had never heard of Belka and Strelka, the Russian dogs who were among the first Earthlings to go to space and return safely? They blasted off 50 years ago today along with some mice, rats, fruit flies, and a rabbit. The whole menagerie came back alive after 24 hours of orbit, proving that adorable living organisms could survive space flight.

The Smithsonian's Air & Space Magazine blog celebrates the pioneering pair today with some choice photos and links to Belka-and-Strelkaology elsewhere on the web. Unlike Laika, the heralded "first dog in space" who died alone in a capsule thousands of miles from home, Belka and Strelka lived on, with one of Strelka's puppies even living in the Kennedy White House. You can see the taxidermied bodies of Belka and Strelka at the Museum of Cosmonautics in Moscow, but we recommend waiting until tomorrow when the anniversary crowds start to die down.

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You might not have guessed this, since I'm a fancy internet writer making literally HUNDREDS of dollars writing mildly amusing comedy sketches involving Lenovo netbooks or Shun knives, but I'm not the most socially graceful person. In fact I can be downright shy, and more often than not take a "I won't talk to you if you won't talk to me" approach to the general public.

Which must be the reason why so many people ask me to take their pictures.

Seriously. If I'm within 1000 yards of something vaguely touristy the odds are good that someone is going to ask me to take their picture. It bothers me, but I know that it shouldn't bother me, and that makes it bother me even more. I know what you're thinking: it's only a picture! It's like six seconds of my life, right? And it feels so much more awkward to say no to that request. What kind of horrible human being has no time to help someone capture a memory? What's the big deal?

I'll tell you the big deal: I'm terrible at taking pictures...
 

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The always-geeky i09 has done something that should resonate well with our bargain loving fans: they've made a post about cheap plastic Halloween costumes. You know, the crappy ones that were only designed to last for a single night?

After the jump, we've got a little more.

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