And Don't Forget "Goddess In The Doorway": Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon


Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

BERLIN (UPI) -- A German zoo Wednesday announced the death of panda Bao Bao, who was believed to have been the oldest living male of his species in the world

Much like Elton John changed "Candle In The Wind" to be a tribute to Princess Diana, pop group Yello changed the chorus of Oh Yeah to memorialize the late, great Bao Bao.




MUNICH, Germany (UPI) -- A 550-pound World War II-era bomb found under a bar in Munich, Germany, frequented by the Rolling Stones was detonated Tuesday night.

Sources say Mick Jagger was unconcerned, having survived both Freejack and Primitive Cool.

REYKJAVIK, Iceland (UPI) -- Older men's sperm may be "mutational bombs," because men's genetic mutations increase as they age, Icelandic and U.S. researchers say.

On the heels of this news, older men are finding it much easier to get dates with women who enjoy the X-Men.


X-MEN Team



DES MOINES, Iowa (UPI) -- A Wells Fargo Home Mortgage employee in Iowa says he was canned this summer for a 10-cent Laundromat scam 49 years ago.

A spokesperson for the SEC announced a celebration party for this weekend, to celebrate how, finally, the banks have been held accountable what what they've done.

NEW YORK (UPI) -- Sunday was Go Topless Day in cities across America.

A joint letter of protest was issued by the staff of Top Gear, Top Of The Pops, America's Next Top Model, and The Four Tops.

DSCF0470 from trespassers william and X-MEN Team from M@rcello;_) are used under a Creative Commons License