There are plenty of places on Woot where you can find helpful information. This is not one of those places. Every week we will be comparing 3 pairs of things that shouldn’t be compared using this formula: Unrelated Thing X vs. Unrelated Thing Y in terms of Function Z. Facts will be misunderstood, overlooked, or changed for the sake of the argument. Enjoy.
1. A Harness vs. A Visor in terms of Dealing With Change
When facing a big change, people will often say that you just need to “jump in.” Nobody ever says that you should slowly belay down into the change using a harness and all other necessary safety equipment. And why don’t they? Because harnesses usually creates an unsightly crotch-bulge, so you’ll feel too self-conscious to really take things in. No, the visor is the superior choice here: it provides shade to protect you from all the shiny newness, while leaving your brain open to receive the changes taking place.
2. Cracking Your Knuckles vs. Several Hammers in terms of Redoing Your Website
You might live on the internet but the internet is not your home. It doesn’t have walls or a bed or anything. So you can’t fix stuff on the internet the same way you fix stuff in your home, which is to hit it with hammers. Redoing stuff on the internet is a thinking man’s game. You need to be mentally prepared. You need to be ready to really pound some code. That’s where cracking your knuckles comes in. It’s the international sign for “I’mma punch somethin’!” and so will get you pumped up and ready to beat your website into shape.
3. A Tin Can Phone System vs. A Toga in terms of Really Showing Your DispleasureAnyone who hands you a can and says “Talk into this if you’re unhappy” is just trying to keep your frustration contained. There’s no one on the other end of that line, and even if there were, they wouldn’t be able to hear you, because that’s just not how sound works. So just say, “No” to that tin can, and instead put on your toga. Why? Because togas are what the Ancient Romans wore, and when the Ancient Romans got mad, everyone around them knew.
Now, to crown the first Rebuttal of the Week with the site redesign! This is really exciting because the person who wins this one will... you know, get the exact same thing as always. Anyway, here it is, user fatdragon breaking down why money in the bank pwns spinach pie in terms of rendering video:
Everybody knows that rich people are always getting cool gifts because they're rich. Having money in the bank virtually guarantees that PC manufacturers will be falling over themselves to set you up with their latest and greatest PCs, capable of rendering videos at least three times as fast as a spinach pie. Unless the spinach pie is equipped with an i7 processor, but let's be serious here.
Well, fatdragon has christened this new vessel; will you be the one who takes it for its sophomore sail? Does that even make sense? Post a rebuttal to one of the above arguments and find out next week!