This is it, you guys: my last Completely Unfair Comparisons post. It’s been a fun run, but I’m putting this blog feature to rest to focus on something new. Hence today’s only comparison:
A Car Alarm vs. A Bouquet of Flowers in terms of Saying Good Bye
When you hear a car alarm, you flinch. You move away from it if you can; if not, you wait for it to be turned off. When the noise goes away, you feel satisfied. Quiet seems more pleasant than before. Could it have felt this way if you had never heard the car alarm? Doubtful. Flowers are far sweeter. At least, to begin with. But they always end up dying in front of your eyes. By the time they’re nasty and wilted, you won’t remember how sweet they were. So, to sum this up: saying good bye with a car alarm = satisfaction. Saying good-bye with flowers = a slow, disappointing fade.
A Car Alarm
Just because we’re closing things out doesn’t mean I’m going to skip rebuttal of the week. No, that honor goes to mrosem14, who makes a good point as to why egg shells trump oyster shells in terms of lady-wooing hats:
I disagree with oysters v. egg shells. Oysters say "I have a lot of money, but I have erectile dysfunction and need to eat lots of oysters (an aphrodisiac)." Egg shells say "I am a nurturing provider, plus I have big muscles from lots of protein consumption. I am a strong but compassionate and gentle lover."
There you have it. Thanks to everyone who read and rebutted. Love you guys! Now, play me out, Wootbot!