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Dorm Room Space Saving Techniques: The Fridge

by Sean Adams

You’re excited! You’re finally going to college and getting away from your parents! Total freedom! You get to campus, get rid of mom and dad as quickly as possible, grab the keys to your dorm room, and now it’s to check out your new palace! Except it’s not a palace. It’s a closet. And you’re sharing it with someone. All of the sudden you’re missing your bedroom at home and dreading the next four years.

But hey, calm down! There are ways to make any dorm room, no matter how tiny it is, feel sprawling and luxurious! And the place to start is choosing the right fridge!

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Oh! I know what to do! Buy a MINI fridge!” But here’s the thing – a mini-fridge isn’t all that mini. Sure, it’s small in comparison to its traditional brethren, but in comparison to, say, a pile of twigs? It’s way bigger (unless you’re using a lot of twigs). That’s why you should consider some of these other options:

The Micro-Fridge: Only about 2% the size of a mini-fridge, these compact fridges were designed with the average person’s drinking habits in mind. Think about it: no one drinks a whole soda in one gulp. So why waste all that space and all that energy on a mini-fridge just to cool WHOLE CANS AT A TIME?! Instead, pour your soda out into several sip-sized containers and cool them in your micro-fridge (roughly the size of four stacked dice) one at a time! Then kick your feet back and enjoy that sweet, sweet space! (NOTE: We’re pretty sure that the micro-fridge is sold at most major stores. But we also might have dreamed it.)


A Fridge Particle: Only about 0.0006% the size of a mini-fridge, all you must do is buy a mini-fridge and then, through a fairly invasive surgical procedure, extract the particle from its heart that makes it what it is. This fridge particle, though essentially invisible to the human eye, is one of the most powerful cooling mechanisms on the planet, and with it in your possession, you’ll be able to keep all sorts of stuff cold. (NOTE: do not take the particle’s power lightly. It is not a toy. Many have been able to use it responsibly. However, others have grown drunk with power. They cool absolutely everything, and too much. You can always recognize an abuser by his cracked, lifeless tongue and screams of pain he lets out when he tries to consume something even lukewarm.)


 
The Fridge Inside All of Our Minds: Only about 0% the size of a mini-fridge, The Fridge Inside All of Our Minds is powered not by electricity, but by thoughts! Who’s to say that refrigeration is anything more than a mindset? Who’s to say that we cannot will the state of refrigeration upon something? Look at the room-temperature beverage, and force yourself to BELIEVE that it is refrigerated. Now taste it. Does it not taste crisp and refreshing? Do you lips not shiver as you drink it in? Are you not satisfied? (NOTE: Not for use with milk or perishable goods.)

There you go: several options that’ll help you save some space! Now, let us know if you’ve got any questions in the comments!