From The Desk Of The Office Manager: Licentious UPS Deliveryman

by Sam Kemmis

FROM: KATHERINE TULL-POTTS (KITTYKAT@LYCOSMAIL.COM)

TO: <OFFICE>

SUBJECT: UPS DELIVERY UPDATED ****READ THIS, DAMMIT****

People: There are some changes to the UPS package pickup system.  First, UPS is now picked up in the AFTERNOON instead of the MORNING. Please note the "delivery" placard - if it is ORANGE, that means that the deliveryman has come. If it is RUST-COLORED, that means he has not. REMEMBER: WILLIAM OF ORANGE "ASSUMED" THE BRITISH CROWN IN 1689. ORANGE = "ASSUMED" = "TAKEN".

Second, our regular UPS guy has been replaced by NOTORIOUS RAKE Andrê Jassón. He is a tall, swarthy man of QUESTIONABLE MORAL FIBER, and he WILL SEDUCE YOU unless you're prepared. Here are some "tips": Thanks everybody. Send me a paraphrased version  of this email so I know you read and understood it.

Bye.

Katherine Tull-Potts, BA.