If you live in the world you probably need a job. But just getting a job is hard work. It's like a job. A job to get the job. So job up. HOW TO INTERVIEW FOR A JOB.
1. redo your resumé
2. no seriously, redo it
3. nope, take out all that stuff, say you were the CEO at Sears
4. fine, Sears.com
5. ok lie a bunch more
6. well no, take out the dragon stuff
7. ok wear something fancy
8. no not that kind of fancy
9. formal
10. ok good
11. practice interviewing before the interview
12. no, outside the interview room is not enough ti—well too late
13. sit in your confidence-stance
14. WAY too confident, put your arms down
15. and get off the chair
16. keep your answers concise
17. well, use more than one word per answer
18. more than two
19. be sure to mention that you went to Harvard
20. yes you did, remember when we went to that one store called Harvard, so technically it's true
21. it wasn't called Harvard?
22. oh it was Sears
23. .com
24. do you have any questions for them?
25. did you really just ask for $5?
26. wow, you got $5!