Seems like everyone's online these days but sometimes people log off like a bunch of quitters. Don't be a quitter. HOW TO STAY ONLINE FOREVER.
1. be online before you wake up
2. open a crapton of tabs
3. (if your name is eric your name is now eric crapton)
4. on each tab load a site
5. (it doesn't matter which sites)
6. follow every possible link on each site
7. when you grow faint from lack of food, reach for another device
8. go back to #2 and repeat
9. when the internet gains sentience you will be one of the first to be welcomed inside the gates of valhalla