Happy Music Monday! It's me, the professed butt-lover and belove'd forum moderator, adq! I'm... I'm so sorry to you all for this week's selections already. I feel like it might be unnecessary to preface this with a warning, but these songs have NSFW lyrics and videos (depending, I guess, on your W).
Oh my god, Becky, let's get this one out of the way. Sir Mix-A-Lot has provided us the quintessential butt song and karaoke favorite of thousands of aspiring "singers". It's led to the oft repeatable adage- "I enjoy large posteriors and I am incapable of deception" or something like that.
But, no doubt you've heard that one a million times already, that's only the tip of the gluteal iceberg, more after the cut!
The spiritual successor to Sir Mix-A-Lot's ode to the butt, Nicki Minaj comes up with an empowering epic for larger-boned ladies. Raunchy as heck, the video is best watched in the privacy of your own home, but you'll be humming the tune and wiggling your own behind for days after. If you don't love Nicki by now, I don't even wanna hear it.
Jennifer Lopez (ft. Iggy Azalea) - Booty
J-Lo and Iggy get in the spirit of 2014: The Year of the Butt with a song you probably won't hear because Nicki's already got it covered (as clearly outlined above). But it has heart, it has some definite lady butt, (if that's your thing), and to be honest, I always have room in my heart for another J-Lo pop song.
KC & The Sunshine Band - (Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty
Let's take it on back all the way to 1976, to what may be the first known instance of the behind being the front-runner in a popular song. This may also be the least sexualized ode to the butt that ever was, at least definitely in my not-too-comprehensive list. Catchy and simple, it's hard not to shake shake shake, shake shake shake... well you know the rest.
This may be the only song on here I'm at all embarrassed to admit I enjoy. If I were a one hit wonder like Sisqo, I'd hope that it would be for something as terrible and ridiculous as "Thong Song". With throwbacks referencing Sir Mix-A-Lot and even the previous year's "Livin' La Vida Loca", only about 40% of "Thong Song" is actually new material, and even then it's stuff like: "She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck/ Thighs like what, what, what". Annnnd, I've just talked myself out of liking this at all.
Scott's making me thank Wikipedia, as always, for their bootylicious fair-use images. However, an additional thanks to unknown Tumblr warriors for Nicki Minaj images! I know I didn't list all the butt masterpieces out there, so I'm looking forward to your input, dear community!