If there are people in your office who aren’t living life to its fullest, that’s too bad, but as long as it doesn’t affect workplace morale too much, you shouldn't worry about it. On the other hand, people in your office who aren’t living at all - as in they’re dead - can really disrupt productivity. So, as the business’s owner, you’re going to have to do something.
If they’re just sitting there being dead, that’s not so hard. You do what everyone does with a dead person: you take them outside, you put them in a canoe, and then you bury the canoe. It’s the other kinds of dead people that cause problems: ghosts.
And what makes it even tougher is that every ghost is different. There’s not some simple way to get rid of them. You have to build a strategy for removal based on the specific ghost you have. But don’t worry; we here at The Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership can help you out. Here’s a list of common workplace ghosts and the best way to dispose of them:
Ghost of shift supervisor: Go to the shift board, and change it so that the ghost supervises the shift of 12:72am until :( pm. He’ll cry out: “But those aren’t real times! I’ll never supervise again!” And then a look of disappointment will spread across his face. For like a minute. Before his face melts.
Ghost of temp: Offer the temp ghost a position as a full time employee. His dream realized, he will now be able to rest in peace.
Ghost of an office prankster: Invite the office prankster ghost to the photocopy room. Say it would be totally hilarious if he made a photo copy of his butt and put it on another employee’s cubical. He’ll love that idea, until he tries to do it and nothing shows up. As he looks at the blank pages, tears will come to his eyes, and he will slowly fade away.
Ghost of a desk: Place a ghost move-request slip on the ghost desk, then wait for the ghost movers to show up and remove the desk for you.
Ghost of a move-request slip: The ghost move-request slip was on the ghost desk that got moved, so it should be gone now.
Ghosts of movers: Their unfinished business was that they had to move that ghost desk, so they should be gone too.
Ghosts of the Ghost Movers: That’s not how ghosts work.
Ghosts of the Ghosts of the Ghost Movers: Just stop it.
Ghosts of the Ghosts of the Ghosts of the Ghost Movers: Seriously, whatever ghost is in my keyboard and doing this, get out!
Anyway, that should help! Or not! Maybe you’ve got a different kind of ghost in your office. Well, tell me about it in the comments, and I’ll let you know how to get rid of it!